INFERIORITY COMPLEX? WAY OUT...
I have read many things about Dr. Martin Luther King Jnr, and I admire everything about him; his imperfections inclusive. As exceptional as I think he was, he understood what inferiority complex is. He described it as one of the most stagnating, strangulating and crushing conditions of the human personality. This ‘on point’ description can
only come from someone who had once dealt with an inferiority complex, so it’s no big deal that you feel the way you do.
I have also dealt with an inferiority complex at some point in my life and even now, it still sometimes tries to rear its ugly head… All we can do is fight…FIGHT it before it crushes us.
There will always be somebody more brilliant, more pretty or handsome… Somebody somewhere will always seem better… but you are who you are and until you accept yourself; your strengths and weaknesses, your inadequacies… you will always feel inferior even though you are not. Change what you can, accept that which you cannot change. Stop looking to others for validation…you don’t need it.
Remind yourself everyday how great you are and do not compare yourself with anyone. Never forget that our differences as humans do not make us superior or inferior to one another… it simply makes us exactly who we are….UNIQUE.
Oh! I should probably remind you of those people who have made it their duty in life to say demeaning things to you; some are serious, but a good number of them are just joking. They will say with so much joy and humour “you are too black and that makes you ugly” OR “haha, why do you always wear clothes like this, it’s so cheap” OR “if only you were fair, you would be fine o”... At times like this, this is what I think you need to do…
Do you remember how the Bible says to resist the devil and he will flee? Exactly, you resist them immediately, don’t accept such words quietly, jokes or not. I don’t mean to fight them but respond and tell them firmly that your ‘blackness’ is what makes you beautiful and it’s a pity they think otherwise. You see, when you just keep quiet and watch them, those words unconsciously settles in your heart (whether you think so or not). You keep replaying them; sometimes chuckling at its silliness but somehow it affects the image you have of yourself…. And then the complex is born.
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission… don’t give them that power… Resist them, and just like the devil, they will flee…
It’s no motivation… it’s just the truth…
"There will always be somebody more brilliant, more pretty or handsome… Somebody somewhere will always seem better… but you are who you are and until you accept yourself; your strengths and weaknesses, your inadequacies… you will always feel inferior even though you are not. Change what you can, accept that which you cannot change. Stop looking to others for validation…you don’t need it."
ReplyDeleteAccepting the above and trying to appreciate that fact is sure a therapy in itself.....Thanks Tee for this inciting one, u neva stop pulling the string u knw..
Exactly, if you do not resist them through words and actions, they will still persist in making those silly "jokes", till the complex grow beyond your control, keep it up dear
ReplyDeleteInferiority complex is a menace, it is capable of bringing down and trampling on its victims, but we can overcome it with reassuring words, talking to ourselves and just like you said, ignoring and not even listening to words that could bring us down. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteWow, I love this. I had this feeling recently i.e a couple of days ago. The truth is some times we are less our best, we allow mediocrity to control our daily living and this is what inferiority complex feeds on. I suggest we all be at our best
ReplyDeleteSure enough, Taiwo, we need not accept the testimonies/actions of (wo)men - especially derogatory ones meant to demean us (in other words, make us feel inferior), as you have carefully, and rightly, explained. But while we must accept our uniqueness, we should also be willing to re-invent ourselves since we are 'beings-towards-perfection' - of course, not for the sake of no (wo)man!
ReplyDeleteTo cite a personal example of the point I'm trying to make: there's no time I go to church that I don't see my shortcomings...yeah Jesus loves me - that gladdens me - but I need to be like Jesus (never mind how hard - though not impossible - that is) since that is how I understand the Antioch meaning of 'Christian' as a concept and world view; hence, my church induced inferiority!
The point I'm driving at, with the "story" above is, that we all need to identify the right thing(s) to 'try'to conform to (i.e, feel inferior to - never mind the apparent incongruity of that assertion...).
Inferiority, thus, may not be a vice - when channeled in the right direction....
I hope my interpretation of your beautiful write up above is in line with your intention....