COMPLEX OR CONFIDENCE?
I first heard “INFERIORITY COMPLEX” from the new boy in SS1, he ‘kindly’ asked a fellow classmate if she had an inferiority complex. We had no idea what that meant, but she rolled her eyes at him anyways… it could be some disease o… so we consulted a dictionary.
So having moved from that clueless stage in SS1, I have learnt that complex issues are quite common, just that the way people exhibit theirs is different. Some are overly shy and withdrawn (wallflower type), some are followers of the ‘cool’ kids; always kissing their ‘asses’ and the others are those fake people who pretend to be who they are not. The last category is the overly confident and sometimes arrogant noisemakers and bullies.
This last category fascinates me the most…
I had always felt that true confidence is like that of a consistent winner in the game of poker. He is that man that sits with a quiet self-confidence, never trying to bring the other players down. He studies and reads the expressions of other players, his face void of expression, giving away nothing…certainly not the noisemaker who boasts of his valour yet consistently lose.
Then I saw this quote that tells me exactly what confidence means;
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.”
This reminded me of the Disney “Mean Girls”; the blonde bimbo with the 'perfect life', looking down her 'perfect' nose at everyone else, and putting everyone down. It turns out she does it to feel better about herself and her imperfections.
What’s this need to appear perfect when you are not anyways? I guess it’s the world we live in…
It’s after all only sane to assume that if I truly have the confidence I'm trying to portray, or if I am in as much control as I seem to be, then I need no validation from anyone. I am simply good enough whether or not somebody else is better or worse… self-image and self-worth are ‘sha’ intrinsic.
People tend to live by the notion "what will people say or think of me". Until we do away with that, we live for others.
ReplyDeleteSome people jst feel the best way to cover their weakness is to flaunt either arrogance or jst put up a life that is not theirs.
ReplyDeleteInferiority complex is actually an issue, I remember always trying to compare myself to everyone I meet, always trying to nag myself on how slow and repressed I av being. But sometym you jst realize u r pushing yourself to the extreme.
The best thing is to live your life and appreciate yourself first....U r neva dt bad afterall.
Insightful
ReplyDeletesome people have totally lost it
ReplyDeletebeing what they are not and spending a lot in maintaining that image and have peace.
Who told them that the others are perfect? they are telling trusted confidants who build them in their imperfections and make them new persons.
If that is what others see that makes them right, it is partly true, because they were better than yesterday.
The ones faking it, need help as this better being seeked.
When help come at the right time in the right way, it us healing
Inferiority complex as it said is...
ReplyDeletean unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behaviour in compensation.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The last paragraph nailed it... "it's the world we live in"
ReplyDeleteBut since what 'probably' distinguishes (wo)men from brute beasts is the capacity for self consciousness, I think it should follow that we should be able to evaluate the ideas we live our lives by - one of which is the funny urge for self importance which you just addressed here.
Values, as you rightly maintained, "are sha intrinsic"!
Your position here is well corroborated in the primordial, and still popular, Yorùbá saying that "àgbá òfìfo ni ó maa ń pariwo"!
Essentially, therefore, a REALLY confident (wo)man needn't announce his/her worth....
I shall bear your 'counsel' in mind!
Thank you, as "we" anticipate another wonderful piece from you... 😂
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should wake up to this daily...it's inspiration
ReplyDelete